So after reading another blog post, I was inspired to write this…I hope the guy doesn’t mind me seizing inspiration from his idea!

To set the scene, the post was basically detailing different personality types and different types of Muslim girls, and this got me thinking, although it’s hard to bracket people into different camps, labelling them as religious/not religious or practising/not practising, I felt there was one category that people always leave out. 

Yes, it goes against the grain to put people into different boxes, and especially to box myself in, but I felt this girl needed her own personal salute.  Who is she?  She’s The Practice Sister.

The Practice Sister is clearly someone who wants to/tries to practice Islam, tries her best to listen to Islamic lectures, read Islamic books, attend events if her family allow her to.  Maybe she even used to teach tajweed in the local community but stopped due to parental requests; she likes to keep in touch with religious friends and loves to use the internet.

But there is something about The Practice Sister which makes her different.  She is the girl who brothers find it easy to confide in, and sisters find threatening sometimes.  She’s the sister who brothers do begin to consider for marriage, but there is something about her which suggests that they should tell her all of their life secrets, but draw the line at marriage, afterall, you wouldn’t want to marry someone who knew all your secrets would you? 

The practice Sister tries very hard to be a shoulder to cry on, a convenient friend, and even when she genuinely wants someone to consider her for marriage, she only ever remains the one the “brothers” use as a “friend.”  (Not that she believes there is such a thing as true “friendship” between a man and a woman in Islam - outside of marriage).  But that does not deter the practising brothers.  Ignoring the whispers inside their heads, they confide in The Practice Sister, tell her everything, even fight with her sometimes (some even keep up the pretence of considering her for marriage) but all the while, what are they doing?  Practising on her, before they actually find someone else to consider for marriage.

So they talk to her, confide in her, ask questions, learn the ways of the woman.  Sometimes even start arguments to determine how they would react if this woman was their wife.  So they converse and learn, taking in how they should and should not react, telling themselves there is nothing wrong.  Afterall, she’s a SISTER. 

But NO, I hear you cry; it is JUST as much HER fault as it is theirs. 

 And no one is arguing with you. But the Practice Sister cannot help but listen when someone wants to talk.  That’s all it is afterall, just talking, alleviating someone’s suffering.  Who was to know the brothers wanted to communicate for a long time?  Who was to know they would never marry The Pratice Sister?  Certainly not the sister; otherwise, why would she converse with them in the first place? 

But but!  No!  Maybe they saw her as a sister?!  A little sister.  You wouldn’t marry your sister would you?

No of course not.  You wouldn’t.  But you also wouldn’t let someone practice on your little sister either would you? 

We’re not here to discuss blame, that’s for another day, but The Practice Sister gets hit just as hard time and time again when she expects that brother who has been emailing her to actually get around to contacting her wali, who actually backs right off when she mentions marraige.

You want me to MARRY you?!  Really?!  Wow that was a shock to me.  I’ve never really thought of you in that way, SISTER. 

So The Practice Sister is left where she started; having helped a BROTHER get over what it was he wanted to get over (hold on, HE contacted HER from a marriage site!) helping him with his little issue he had to resolve before he actually GOT married; he’s ironed out the issue he had with how to deal with women, now he’s ready to SERIOUSLY start considering someone. 

So we say to The Practice Sister: we hope you learn from your mistakes; brothers are NOT out to marry you, but just to practice or what we call “time-pass” so don’t let them.  It does not matter if they have an issue or a problem or even that they call you SISTER.  Theys shoudl get counselling or tell their deepest darkest secrets to Allah SWt (who knows them anyway!)  Don’t be their “time-pass.” (say that with a desi accent)

And to all of those brothers (of which there are hundreds) who consider it OK to have a Practice Sister we say:

LOSERS!